Forbearance is the appreciation of variety and the ability to live and let others live. It is the ability to exercise a fair and objective attitude towards those whose opinions, practices, religion, nationality, and so on differ from one’s own. It is a noble virtue. It is wanted everywhere. It is the virtue that helps us put up with those who have different ways and opinions, and outlooks in life. It also enables us to judge the other sides of things with patience, without losing anger. In the past, the difference in religion led to prosecution, the difference in politics led to bad-blood and difference in opinions ended in blows.

In the past, the difference in religion led to trial, the difference in politics led to bad-blood and difference in opinions ended in blows. Forbearance is a virtue much needed in our stormy world. But we must recognize that there is a difference between Tolerance and tolerate. Forbearance does not mean to come up against any necessary principle. Our best self goes down if we tolerate evil. In matters relating to deeper questions and principles of life, it is our duty to stand up for them and refuse an easy compromise. But Forbearance does not mean to bear up moral degradation, public nuisance acts, anti-social activities, moral corruption, wrong-doing, exploitation, and deception.

Forbearance  involves both humility and meekness, engaging them to say, “I am not perfect, and I am not going to try to make this imperfect soul’s walk harder through my imperfection.” The importance of Forbearance  lies in its ability to make a human being broad enough in mind to be receptive to all kinds of ideas. This, in turn, enables one to widen one’s knowledge and exercise more freedom of choice and judgment for oneself. At the same time it creates a deeper understanding of other’s views and beliefs.

Today, Forbearance  seems to be at a discount at all levels. At the most trivial sign of disagreement hot words are exchanged, almost immediately escalating into a fight and sometimes even murder. Family members find it difficult to put up with one another’s shortcomings after all which human being is perfect? Communities, social groups, facial groups and nations- at all levels, there appears to be an acute lack of Forbearance . If there is no Forbearance , the virtues are irrelevant. Loss of control over small things due to wrong thinking leads to arguments, quarrels, divorces, suicides, etc.

In Arabic it is called “tasamuh” .Religion Islam teaches Forbearance  and puts great emphasis on the importance and benefits of Forbearance  with the aim to make this world a peaceful place. Islam does not say to let you down in front of others or to stay quiet or to do unjust with yourself. Islam does not ask you to settle for anything less rather by Forbearance  here means to accept the fact that human beings, naturally distinct in their appearances, situations, perceptions, opinions, speeches, behaviors, and values. Jabir ibn Abdullah reported that Messenger of Allah, Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H), said: “May Allah have mercy on a man who is tolerant when selling, buying, and seeking repayment.” (Sahih Bukhari).

Islam is the religion of Forbearance  and ease; it gives an ample space for freedom of expression and does not suppress people. One must be tolerant when he/she is having a bad time in his/her life, one must show patience when he/she is having a loss in his/her business, one must be patient when he/she loses his/her loved ones or is having any hardships in life because this is the thing religion Islam teaches us that to not lose Forbearance  during hard times. People should not think that why Allah has chosen them to test their patience rather they must think that pain is a blessing and Allah tests those who are closed to Him. If pain is not the biggest blessing then why would Allah give it to His most beloved subjects (the prophets)?

Forbearance  in the negative sense simply means the ability to tolerate opponents. Today we use its positive meaning, which means respect for the opinion of opponents. Many people interpret the meaning of Forbearance  as a weakness. We’ll say it’s their fault. Many tend to react to brick with brick. It doesn’t stop the quarrels or disputes, it strengthens them. The tension rises, the fever and the anger sets in. But only Forbearance  can relax and normalize the atmosphere. If we want to raise our children with character and Forbearance , they too must learn that Forbearance  is a strength, not a weakness. This instills kindness and Forbearance  in children from an early age. If all children are taught better values from an early age, they can become better people in life. Forbearance  in education is about acceptance and understanding. Education will be enjoyable if you accept and understand that not everyone thinks and sees things in the same way as you. Education is not about learning to agree with others, it’s understanding that everyone has their own opinions and ways of thinking. Forbearance  will give you the ability to show empathy for others and understand that not everything is black and white. Forbearance  will give you understanding that there are reasons for things to happen, it will teach you patience.

The world has not been set to one pattern nor have men been shaped in a single mold. It is essential to pull together with all in society. It helps a man win people’s mind and earn popularity with people. The difference in environment or condition of life causes a difference in temperament and opinion. Historical revolution has to lead diversities in outlook. A cultured person takes this into account, makes allowance for them and is ready to make concession and compromise. Without this broad-mindedness, energy may get wasted in the futile argument. In this long run mere passion never tends to any good nor solves any problem; passion has to be controlled and disciplined by reason and Forbearance . We know that more tolerant means a fool or a block-headed person. Forbearance  does not mean to bear with any violence, injustice, unlawful acts with patience or silence. It means to watch and observe anything out of great patience. It aims or points at keeping politeness before having a clearance of anything.

Forbearance  will give your life purpose, it will give you the opportunity to teach, a skill of a lifetime. Forbearance  is about being able to see people for who they are and accepting them for who they are. The consequence of Forbearance  is good for a tolerant. It is supported by every intellectual whole-heartedly. It is also said that the first teacher of children is the mother.  A mother’s personality has both positive and negative effects on her children. If the mother teaches her children qualities like Forbearance  and caring, the child will behave accordingly and set a better example for society.

Published in The Daily National Courier, March, 07 2023

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